Millie & Adam

Millie and Adam are a married couple and they came to me looking for help with their relationship.  They both felt they were at the end of the road and that their marriage was over. There was no way forward for them. I’ll let them tell you their story in their own words:

Adam: “It was strange for me as a man to admit that my marriage was falling apart, I didn’t want to admit it to myself as it felt like a terrible failure. I also didn’t want to get help, going to a stranger for help  didn’t appeal to me at all. I particularly didn’t want to hear what I thought was going to be said.”

Millie: “Our marriage was on the rocks. I dreaded each night when Adam came home, there was no communication at all. It was so exhausting, the family was suffering and we were not being true to ourselves either. It all seemed very bleak and it had got to the stage where I was contemplating just walking out because I couldn’t think of what else to do.”

Adam & Millie: “It was really tough at first, but Gabrielle did a fantastic job at getting us to open up with each other and say what we really felt. We don’t know how she did it, but when we were with her it felt safe to be ourselves and tell the truth. We had to be brutally honest which wasn’t easy for either of us, we’d spent so many years pretending about things, or ignoring what was really going on. We knew though, that to move on we had to do things differently. Our first big breakthrough came when we were able to admit that we really didn’t want to split up and that we were willing to do what it was going to take to heal our relationship.” Millie goes on “That was a really important moment for me when Adam said that. Up until then I’d been convinced he didn’t really care and was probably secretly wishing he could be on his own.” Adam responds “I was really surprised that Mille thought that, I thought I’d been doing everything I could to prove that I was a good Dad and a good husband but I realized that I had no idea what was important to Millie about our relationship. I was just ended up doing the stuff that my Dad had done, I never gave it any thought. I’d just fallen into a pattern without realising it.”

Millie again “The whole process has made us grow as people. We’ve learnt to communicate properly with each other and say what we really think without being frightened of upsetting each other. Gabrielle taught us how to listen properly to each other and actually hear what is being said. Before working with Gabrielle, I realised I’d not been listening to Adam, I just jumped to conclusions and made him wrong regardless of what he was actually saying.  We’ve taken some nights away together and go to know each other all over again. It’s been wonderful! I can’t thank you enough Gabrielle, you’ve really made a difference to us.”